What do I wear to my brother’s wedding if I’m not in the bridal party?
I do not know how formal the wedding is. Their color scheme is silver – does that indicate formality? All I know is it is in the evening in mid-April. Is a cocktail dress sufficient? What length? Can I add character (like a funky scarf or piece of jewelry) to stand out a little bit? I mean, just because I’m not in the bridal party doesn’t mean I want to look like every other guest…
Okay, my brother and I aren’t close (obviously). So I’m not miffed about the bridal party. Also it’s almost a shotgun wedding (four month engagement) so they probably don’ty have much of a bridal party at all. Anyway, whenever I offered to help with the planning my future sister-in-law ignored me, so I’m trying to give her some space/stop asking questions. My mother asked “how formal is the wedding” and my brother’s fiance said something like “Well it’s a Saturday evening wedding” (as if that would answer all our questions).
excellent question!
yes, a cocktail dress is a great piece for a wedding. there is one main thing you want to avoid in your dress: don’t make it look like you’re UPSET that you’re not in the bridal party!
a short, slinky cocktail dress in loud colors can scream that you’re bummed out. seriously!
if you’re not in the bridal party, and you’re family–then it’s your job to SUPPORT the bridal party and bride and groom. you’re there to help in all the ways that the bridal party can’t help because they’re TOO dressed up. so, i suggest a cute cocktail dress (almost knee-length) that complements the bridal party colors. black goes well with silver, and won’t be too flashy. in april a softer color would work, too (pale green or purple). have comfortable shoes and a sweater stowed in the car–in the event that you get talked into loading the car with gifts or sprinting to the nearest 7-11 for a coke.
a cute silver purse is probably a must. just be sure to store all the essentials in it–tissue, lipstick, cash, quarters, tampons, safety pins, bobby pins. keep your ears open for any bridesmaids who need your help!
a funky scarf or jewelry paired with a proud smile will make for the perfect sister at the perfect wedding. 
the more supportive you are, the more you will stand out.
congrats!! you sound like a great sister!
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